My Blog

it works like a white colar, but getting the blue colar’s salary.
a busy work with no pay for OT….

my life now, satisfy with i have now, just lack of a boyfriend…. ^^

blog should be something personal,but once words are post on internet,we have no more secrecy,it will be open for all ppl to view. for me, blog is a place where i can express my feeling, something that i hardly to tell other ppl,so if any of my friend read this post, please dont come to ask me,i dont wanna talk about it anymore,but u still can leave a comment for this blog.

this is the 1st time i use blog to talk about my relationship.ya, it was ended one year ago. A one-year-and-nine-month relationship ended one year ago, and till now, i still not able to let go.that guy,who i thought will be marry to ask to break. i have waited for one year, i thought one year is enough to cool down, because he asked me to wait,give him time. last night,via msn, i told him, i just waiting for his word, just waiting for him to restart our relationship, he told me "just remain friend".

today,i have decided to let go, to forget him,i have to force myself to do it.i cant continue loving him,already more than one year the relationship ended, why i still love him?i must change,i must let go.so, i choose to hate him,i believe that hate can let me stop loving him(ya, i know its lieing to myself).

i have to give myself more time,more time,one more year?two years?five years or more?i wonder when i can let go all these…my heart really pain…

two more weeks, then i’ll be leaving Malacca, the place where i spent 3 1/2 years to advance my degree study, the place where i found my 1st love, the place where i met so many lovely friends….

two more weeks, bye bye, a place full of happy and sad memories, i’m not gonna forget all these… i have to move on, is time to grow up and carry all the responsibilities, lead a working life like other adults

i hope i can cope with the busy working life style, i hope i can get used the days where dont have noon nap, cant go shopping whenever we like, cant wake up whenever we like…..

all the best to myself and all those buddies who graduating too….
may god bless us ~~~

graduating end of this year, have to get myself to prepare for a working life. 8-9pm? work overtime?work at weekend? lesser time to rest? sooner or later need to cope wif this life style.

many friends ask me, do i miss home?do i miss my friends?why ur not going home?
ya, i do miss them, especially during the difficult time, always think about them and wish to share problems wif them, seek for their advice or look for their help.
but, i’m trying to control myself, try not to allow myself to look for them, trying to settle everything by myself, its really hard, sometime really want to give up, i cried in bed/toilet. i don want let myself too rely on them, don want to let myself have a habit to look for them whenever there’s difficulties.

however, there was once. the hardest time for me, i couldnt stand and call my mom. it was the first time i did it, my mom was very worry, cos i never cried in front of her…… i swear, i wont let them worry anymore, i wanna learn to b tough enuff to face every difficulties by myself…i’m still learning….

my friend ask me, why i so addicted to online game?i told them its the cheapest entertainment since i don have transport going out. game is useless for real life, but at least, during playing, i wont think about all those sadness,stress. friend said i always stay in house not going out cos addicted to online game. ya, i do spend times for it, but i’ll still remember my responsibility as a housemate to clean up the house, as a friend to go out wif my friend, as a student to study/do the assignment, as a daughter/sister to take care of my family.

i have a life.there’s no need to let everyone know wat i’m doing now. i only feel that u can be addicted to anything, either playing game, watching drama, shopping, sporting and etc. only one thing, don forget our responsibility as a student, as a friend, as a housemate and as a daughter/son.

my classmate pass away this afternoon. maybe some of you read the news from tv or newspaper. this afternoon, she took bus back from jusco, but donno how, the brake can’t function and the bus turnover.. they were trapped inside. 17 injured,2 died, 3 in critical. the driver only broke his leg. it was so sudden,i went to the hospital but couldn’t see her, what a shock!!! if this not happen, we are going to graduating this year…

accident…i hate accident

its been long time i din write my blog. its not bcos i have nothing to say, but its hard to speak out….. recently, its very hot in malacca, very really hot in day time but rain heavily in night time. and lately, i’m a bit blue, i’m very disappointed with myself….. when i heard my friend said they learn a lot from industrial training, have very nice colleague, gain a lot knowledge from them….. i feel like…. i’m not envy but just disappointed with myself. i’m developing a system, alone in a lab…. donno whose can i ask for advice….. maybe i’m too passive, its all my fault……. and now, still stuck in the problem and can’t proceed…. hmm……… feels like…. i can’t see my future, seems wanna give up, simply get a guy and live a simple life…..

rwe win the best performance price and also the the first price in this competition. unbelievable!!! is really hard to believe that we could win those professional player from USM, UKM, UPM, UNIMAS and blablabla……… unbelievable!!!

wow, now i’m starting to feel proud to be a UTeM’s student…emm……i donno what to say, too excited….. and really happy >.<

my pratical life is really hard… i’m doing a project for….i’m developing an online system which include emailing, data entry, notification, automation trigger message and blablabla…..start from analysis, design, develop. testing and implementation… all the steps in SDLC

its very hard for me since everything have to be done by my own. even the lecturer or technician can’t fix the error, only saking me to search for answer from online forum.

i’m not doing master research le…. everything need to be explored by my own, doing the documentation all alone…. i’m  not reaching that stage yet!!!

luckily, it stop raining this morning…. if not, i may not able to go to Singapore to celebrate Christmas.

recently, I’m busy playing an online game called "maple story". I’m just started, now only reach level8, is a magician.all the character, scene are very cute, suitable for male or female player. anyone interested can visit maple story. well, I’m not going back to ipoh during new year holiday, I’ve at least 4-day holiday, but i think I’ll stay at home concentrate to upgrade my maple character.

best wishes to all my friends

merry christmas and happy new year

it start raining from the early morning until now, non-stop raining. when i wake up at 6.00am, it already start raining, till now, lunch time, haven’t stop.afraid that some places are flooded…

why the sky non-stop crying??wanna complained about the man made pollution???or crying for those tragedy happened in human world??? people keep looking for more money, bigger house, more expensive and branded car….while other mammals only hope for an bloated stomach and a place save to live….

me?like common people, desire for those things. I’ve a five-member-family. i want to buy a double story house for my family, big enough for all of them to stay.well, for me, car is not a necessity.cos I’m really weak in recognize road and driving. my ambition is, after i graduate, I’ll use 10-15 years time to gain experience and save money, than i want to start a business, may be an online business…not sure yet…

well, lastly, i also hope that I’m able to meet someone that i can spend the rest of my life with him. i hope that we’ll love each other very much and won’t hurt each other, neither mentally nor physically…

DON’T KNOW WHEN, MY DREAMS WILL COME TRUE??? possible?impossible???